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Regarding comment February 10, 2007

Posted by Nathan in Uncategorized.

An anonymous friend left me a comment to the last post. I have to say that I kind of felt the same. Let me tell you the story. Last January I went to Berlin with a colleague for conference. After conference we had one day free so I just told him I have a personal business to do today and will meet him in train station before night. Guess what was my private business?

In a German q.u.e.e.r. website once a link to escorts website got my attention. You can guess looking at picture of all those awesome boys makes every one crazy. I felt damn curious to at least once meet one of them and get laid. Before leaving to Berlin i sent a message to the best one, in my taste, and got his cell phone number. His picture once was on the first page of one the most famous g.a.y. magazines. Anyway in Berlin I called him and he gave me the address to meet him. His services costs 150 Euros per hour. Anyway I agreed, got a taxi and went there. I have to say a really awesome boy. Around 23 years old, tall, muscular body, and perfect in every aspect of face and body but don’t need to mention the mentality was worse than worse.

Anyway, I was with him for an hour, I can say I enjoyed when I was there, but as our anonymous friend who left the comment told; in each and every second I had the feeling that it is because of my wallet not because of me.

When I left there, I didn’t have any special feeling. I mean a feeling like when a guy who really loves you kisses you, although I had much more than a kiss with this escort guy.

Let’s return to the comment of our friend again. I have to say; yes my friend you are right, but what else I can do. At the moment I have no friend, no lover. But at least with million money I can have the fun, without than even fun is not possible. I can describe that kind of fun like a pain killer. You get it, you feel relieved for a while and then again you have to get it. At least at the moment I have no better solution.


Just be rich even being 89 old is OK February 8, 2007

Posted by Nathan in One million Euros project.

Today I had my exam and I can say it was OK although it could be better. Today Iw as reading in BBC about that American former super mode who died in a hotel in Florida. She married a 89 years old miliarder while she was just 26. You see when you are rich even in 89 you can have the best partner who even young and cute guys can not even think about.
I can say it is another intension for me to go for my 1,000,000 Eur.

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I have a dream February 7, 2007

Posted by Nathan in One million Euros project.
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It is 12:38 at night, in a very quiet German city.  Tomorrow I have an exam or according to Germans, “Ich muss ein Test schreiben.” Anyway, the more time passes the more I get to the conclusion that one sentence which I read long ago in a book about how to become reach is true. The author believed that one of the biggest drives in human in sexual. If you can transfer that power to other things you can do them very successfully. In other words, try to translate your aim to a sexual/sensual language. For example if you want to make money, you can translate it this way, with more money I can have better sex partners or even lover(s) so you get more drive in your business to work harder. I am going to do the same. I want 1,000,000 Euros and I already translated it into a sexual language. With 1,000,000 I can have many sexy boys around myself, so let’s go for that.

My dreams is living in a very beautiful Spanish style house beside the sea, with million in your account, a nice business, and having dozens of super sexy boys around you. Who knows maybe finally you can find your Mr. Right between them. Maybe a tall and a bit dark muscular Latino guy or a tall and blond guy with long hairs like one of those Swedish angels. Someone like BWO music band star.

It is my dream, I really want it. We’ll see how fast I can get to that point. I am going to use all my intelligence and my knowledge to reach it to benefit myself and also other people as much as I can.

I will update you about  my 1,000,000 Euros project and my progress from time to time.

I am going to have another looks on my lecture notes and then sleep with dream of being beside a beach with nice Spanish boys around me in my luxury house in Spain.

Years in university February 6, 2007

Posted by Nathan in Uncategorized.
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Today I am damn busy for an exam preparation. I feel even until I reach 70, if I do, I must face exams all the time, each year. Worst than that I didn’t care about my Deutsch course during the semester and now I think I lost a lot.

Let me get back to my story. That night was the first night of our friendship. During the remaining years of university we met in campus from time to time and once even we had a lecture together. Because he didn’t believe in participating in classes we barely met.

During all those years I kinda knew and could feel that I am interested in boys rather than girls. But because Internet was not that popular in Iran those years I had no clue about who I am exactly. Quit frankly even hour in university I thought about being with a boy more than 20 times. But never had the courage to approach a boy except once which became a real catastrophe. I will tell you about it later.

I am going to start studying again. This weekend I will write a lot for you.

The first meeting February 5, 2007

Posted by Nathan in Uncategorized.
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Typing in Persian is a real torture for me, so I decided to write in English for a while and see which one is better.

Anyway, I like to start telling my story, or more precisely the story of my first love or more precisely tell how my heart broke in a way that still after four years I can not forget it.

Some years ago, when I was doing my Bachelors degree in Iran, in the beginning of each semester we always had problem of course registration. We used to come very early in the morning or even the night before behind the doors of the university and wait there in order to be the first person the day after. I remember it was second semester and sometime in February. Tehran was cold like hell. We were in front of the doors of Sharif university. I was talking with my colleagues and my body was shaking because of cold of course. A guy with a bit dark skin, black hair and tall came to us and some of my friends started talking to him. He looked very friendly with a permanent smile in his face.

He innvited me and Ali, my friend, to join him in his car because there was warmer than outside. It was the first time I was seeing this guy and I couldn’t believe that five years later I will share the most romantic and one of the most pathetic one-directional loves in my life with him.

اولین پست February 4, 2007

Posted by Nathan in Uncategorized.
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شاید این سومین وبلاگی هست که من در چهار سال گذشته درست می کنم. یکی که به لطف پرشین بلاگ پاک شد، دومی هنوز هست اما مدت هاست در اون چیزی ننوشتم.


اول خودم را معرفی کنم. توcyberspace من اشکان هستم. الان چهار سال هست که من در خارج از کشور درس می خونم و در ا ین سال ها هرگز به ایران نیومدم اینه که اطلاعات من در مورد گی ها در تهران همان ماجراهای چهار سال پیش هست. اینکه چرا مینویسم دوباره خودم هم درست نمیدونم می خوام چیز هایی را که حتی بعد از چهار سال من را اذیت می کنند بگم ، یا می خوام که دوست پیدا کنم یا اینکه از گریه های مستانه خودم بگم …. هنوز مطمین نیستم.


فکر میکنم اگر با نگاه امروزم به تجربه های قبلیم نگاه کنم برای هممون جالب باشه. من در ۴ سال گذشته در سه کشور از آسیا تا اروپا درس خوندم و زندگی کردم. دوست دارم در مورد آنچه دیدم بنویسم، حد اقل برایی خودم یک دفتر خاطرات آنلاین هست.


نمی دونم دیگه چی بگم از خودم. آهان یادم اومد، در مورد رشته تحصیلیم ، کار من به رباتیک مربوط میشه البته نوع خیلی خاصی از اونها. اما به دلایلی نمی خوام بیشتر بگم. دوست دارم با بچه هایی که در این مورد کار میکنن در ارتباط ‌باشم از این طریق.


برای امشب فکر کنم بس باشه. فردا از گریه های مستانه با هم بیشترحرف میزنیم.